Different relationships fulfil different needs. Some friends you go to talk, others to dance. So having to make new friends over again when you already have great ones can prove to be a difficult. I’ve been thinking about how new vs existing people in our lives perceive us.
Meeting someone new can be a chance to level up to a new version of yourself, but you can’t control what they decide about you. Picture this:
Dreading the pointless hour ahead, my class waited for our tutor to arrive. One girl stated, as expected, most of us were on our phones, ignoring each other. So I made a point of pulling out my headphones, gave her my attention and asked how her day had been. As she proceeded to tell me, another girl interrupted to tell me that I’m cute. I’m aware of this, so I thanked her.
Thinking about this in hindsight made me a little angry. It felt condescending. In a world controlled by men, I think too many people underestimate the strengths being a woman can give you. Seeing other women talk about this is important. Women have an innate intelligence for emotion, which is great for so many things. Many would agree that one of the best things about being a woman is the relationship you have with other women, it starts with caring about each other and that is definitely not a weakness.
This construct has negative repercussions for men and women. Sadly, strength is still defined by outdated things like physical strength and other stereotypically masculine things. People should strive to be better people and not for the confined perimeters that their gender ‘ideal’ dictates.
I am a feminist, and I understand that equality of all people is at its core. Reni Eddo-Lodge challenges this idea. Commenting that ‘equality doesn’t quite cut it’, that as women we need to be a functioning part in rebuilding the world we want to live in. We need to shift the definition from equality of all people to include the respect of all people. What makes us women makes us strong in a whole different way, and we all need to learn to value that.