The words in which
I once shared
with a crumpled
piece of paper
revealed more about
my inner most thoughts
than what has ever come
out of my own mouth
The blistering navy blue of the pen
smudged
with the salt water running down
my puffy cheeks
Short-breathed
clutching my heart
as I fell to the floor
I cannot begin to recall
that night
A distorted crack in time
I do not want to remember
for I fear the worst
and I know the end is coming
My demons tried drown me
in an ocean of self-doubt
the tide swept me
under his vicious depth
and anxiety called an order
for the water to be frozen
whilst I was trapped
descending
sputtering
breathless
blank
Gasping for air on the floor
as I read my own words
my sweet girl
what did you do to yourself
Bruises hid beneath your skin like
sunken submarines
cuts sunk into the surface
like imprints in the sand
precious girl,
your skin was as fragile
as the remains of your consciousness
I want to protect you
If I could
I would go back
and tell you how it all plans out
you are fighting the storm
when you were
the first drop of rain
in the hurricane
to begin with
an uphill battle with yourself
and the demons you created
My brave girl
grab your armour
gather your unapologetic courage
and throbbing heartbeat
the blood running through you
will get shed in the battlefield
but you will survive
and you will come back
fighting
stronger
resilient
alive.
By Rachelle Cox