My body was a shape shifter
A cruel stranger that obscured, contorted and twisted
transforming from ghostly thin to suddenly twice the size
a wobbling mess of flesh
Hours upon hour spent gazing into unforgiving mirrors
Blotchy critical eyes, painting lines where I wish the scalpel would touch, bless
My body was a missed meal, a sick note, a constant reminder
A stomach squeezed in tight, blue-purple bruises on fat thighs
Tear-stained cheeks, gaunt, vomit-tainted fingers trembling
Now, warm, kind hands slowly trace my perfumed skin
Soft, soothing and loving
it’s me, my body becomes mine
A long-lost friend returning after years of waiting, of longing
A safe home
Cloaked in satin, silk, lace,
No longer concealed but an object of pride, of bravery
Each dimple, ripple, roll
A blessing, a story of survival
My survival
Words : Gemma Allison
Photo : Holly Haynes