So, it’s that time of year again where you have to buy things for people whose interests are so completely different to yours you may as well be buying for aliens. That’s the thing about family, right? You choose your friends, so usually they have things in common with you, similar tastes, hobbies, ways of seeing. Your family, however, can be so completely opposite it’s a surprise you share any DNA (hence all your teenage rebellion), add in the office secret santas where you could be buying for a literal stranger, and it all becomes a big old panic. Do I just buy “bath stuff” for my aunt again? Does my dad need any more socks? Well, I’m here to help, and as the year of Covid-19 comes to a close yet facing the uncertainty of what is next, a book that can accompany anyone through the enforced days spent in doors that are almost certainly still to come is probably a great shout.
For Your Art Mom :
Funny Weather – Olivia Laing
Why, you ask, has she used the American spelling of mum when she’s British? Well, it’s because “art mom” energy is not just restricted to your actual mum, but of course it very much can be. Some of my mates have big art mom energy…actually maybe I have big art mom energy? Your eccentric aunt who lives with her “friend” Susan and paints giant portraits of cats for a living, your dad who wears overalls always covered in pain splashes and maybe smokes a cigar or something; they both have art mom energy. Think of Helen in The Princess Diaries or Donna from Mamma Mia. This beautiful collection of essays on art and music and a passion for the creative will be loved by the beautiful arty weirdos, may they always be weird and arty.
For Your Office Secret Santa :
Normal People – Sally Rooney
You’ve entered the office secret santa, and it’s someone you don’t hate, but don’t know super well. You need a book that’s basically universally liked. I present to you: Normal People. With the very rare exception, everyone I know who’s read this book liked it, regardless of age or gender. The universality of the concept of not being able to read someone else’s mind, and the misunderstandings that lead to, makes this book a great one to give someone that you know read, but have no idea of their tastes. It’s a book about the human condition, which largely humans enjoy reading about. It also has the added benefit of having been made into a very successful tv series, meaning the recipient may even have seen it, and if not probably will have at least heard of it, and familiarity makes people feel comfortable.
For Your Eccentric Aunt Who Asks Provocative Questions at The Dinner Table :
Earthlings – Sayaka Murata
This also covers your “deep” cousin who is growing a moustache and keeps quoting Nietzsche out of context, or your nibling who read The Communist Manifesto and keeps trying to get your aunt and uncle to join them in debates about the evil of Capitalism while everyone is tucking into turkey. Earthlings (much like Murata’s first novel, Convenience Store Woman) is about the absurdity of societal conventions and expectations, and how forcing everyone into the same mould is damaging and ultimately fruitless. Earthlings has the added bonus of engaging in discussions on the ethics of incest, children’s sexuality, and cannibalism that will speak to that cousin who only started wearing that turtleneck sweater when they started their philosophy A level, and will make your aunt pronounce “the institution of marriage it just as absurd as cannibalism if you really look at it” while your parents stare incredulously.
For Your Ignorant But Well Meaning Parents and Racist Grandparents :
Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race – Reni Eddo Lodge
If you’re white, does your dad respond with “at least it’s not America!” every time you talk about race in the U.K.? If you’re black or brown, have you been given the secret santa slip with the name of that “casual” racist supervisor whose microaggressions get laughed off? This is the opportunity to give the gift of knowledge without the effort of having to say anything yourself. Depending of the level of racist and of defensiveness of the recipient, it can also double up as a nice “fuck you” that you can easily hide behind a smile and a “I thought you’d enjoy this, I found it very informative”. This, of course, could easily be a great gift for an ignorant but well-meaning grandparent, a friend who wants to learn more about race or social issues in general, or even a well-informed parent who you know likes to learn. I have found Reni Eddo Lodge to be a great source of knowledge, especially her podcast “On Race”, as much of my knowledge about race and class dynamics had often been based on the U.S., so writers like Reni Eddo Lodge and Akala helped to fill me in on what’s going on in my own country.
For Your Comic Book Obsessed Cousin Who Never Leaves Their Room :
The Low, Low Woods – Carmen Maria Machado
Ok so I just wanted an excuse to put this comic book volume in this list because, honestly, I really want it for myself (anyone wanna get me a present?). But I also know how difficult it can be to buy for someone who has interests seemingly so outside of your own. As an adult woman, I often have no idea what to buy teenage boys who are into video games and comic books, even though I myself being into video games and comic books. Years of internalised misogyny combined with the subconscious binary gender brainwashing we’re all brought up with had made me believe that the comics and games I play are definitely not cool, and especially would not be thought cool by a teenage boy. Plus, there’s something quite intimidating about gen Zs, right? In my humble opinion, Carmen Maria Machado is maybe the coolest writer there is, like she literally wrote a piece for the last Phoebe Bridger’s album and then did an interview in playboy with her. Machado wrote The Low, Low Woods, a queer af body horror comic, for DC comics that I think is the perfect gen Z nerd gift.
For Your Music Dad :
Hunger makes me a normal girl – Carrie Brownstein
Much like art mom energy, music dad energy is not confined to your dad. My dad is a music dad, this sunk in when he forcefully subjected me to hours of listening to Genesis after he read a book on prog rock. But for you it could be your sibling who talks about their new synth every time you speak to them, or your mate who spends all their time making playlists of artist who share the same label or producer (I think maybe I’m a music dad too). This is an especially great shout for your music dad friends and relatives whose entire Spotify Wrapped featured only guitar wielding boy bands without a woman in sight. The great thing about this book is that if the person receiving it gets obsessed, you’ll be subjected to Sleater-Kinney, rather than Genesis (sorry Stuart). A win-win really.
For Your Nibling Who Recently Cut an Undercut into Their Hair and Writes Poetry You’re Desperately Trying to Entice Out of The Closet :
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous – Ocean Vuong
Ok, so this book might be a little “mature” for kids below a certain age, but as I read The Virgin Suicides at age 11 I’m not great at gauging appropriate book ages. I reckon your very obviously queer cousin will adore this book from maybe ages twelve and up? This book is stunning, poetic, moving, heartbreaking, hopeful; all the things a young queer loves and needs. I wish I had novels like this as a child, rather than the plethora of books written by the cishet male “greats”. I think I would have found it a comfort. Maybe if I’d have had books like this I would have been able to be myself a bit more, less concerned with moulding myself into the manic pixie female protagonists of Nabokov or Eugenides. This is also a great choice for your mum who’s into a great novel, or your dad who staunchly believes that only the classics are worthwhile.
For Your Mate Who Just Needs a Good Read :
Queenie – Candice Carty-Williams
Recently a friend asked me “what book should I read that’s not too hard going that can get me back into reading?”. And as the literary masochist that I am, I struggled to think of what to recommend, and then I remembered Queenie. While it deals with some heart-breaking and hard-hitting themes on race, sexuality, mental illness and trauma, it is ultimately a book about a woman choosing to look after herself, about friendships and family relationships. It has a Bridget Jones-ey vibe to it, but a Bridget who is black, not inexplicably wealthy despite having a job that wouldn’t be able to pay for that apartment in London (aka rich white parents) and who decided to prioritise herself and her platonic relationships rather than romantic partners. If, like me, you and your mates need a little break from the miserable and dense “hard hitting literature” over the holiday season, this is a great shout. Great for a secret santa of someone who actually know and like.
For Your Office Secret Santa :
Normal People – Sally Rooney
You’ve entered the office secret santa, and it’s someone you don’t hate, but don’t know super well. You need a book that’s basically universally liked. I present to you: Normal People. With the very rare exception, everyone I know who’s read this book liked it, regardless of age or gender. The universality of the concept of not being able to read someone else’s mind, and the misunderstandings that lead to, makes this book a great one to give someone that you know read, but have no idea of their tastes. It’s a book about the human condition, which largely humans enjoy reading about. It also has the added benefit of having been made into a very successful tv series, meaning the recipient may even have seen it, and if not probably will have at least heard of it, and familiarity makes people feel comfortable.
