I spoke about him as if he put the moon and stars in the sky
Even when he was the meteorite crashing down to earth
Destroying everything in his path
But he was so beautiful
A part of me found his recklessness fascinating
I had looked at him in a million different ways
And adored him in each
He stroked my cheek and whispered that we were the exact same person
I smiled because in that moment i had conveniently forgotten how much he fucking hated himself
After 5 years we grew apart not together
All i wanted was to receive the love i gave
All he wanted was to leave
I begged him as if i was wishing upon a shooting star
You see the thing is,
Our love is like the wind,
I can’t see it but i can feel it
I can feel it at 4am when i am at my weakest And he makes me feel strong
His job is not to fix me
But to hold my hand while i fix myself
His job is to supply the plaster
As i suck out the venom from the wound
I now think he is the venom
I didn’t fall apart for him to fall into someone else
I’ve ruined myself for a lot of people and i used to think that was ok
Because i wanted to be loved
I wanted to know how it felt to be wanted and appreciated
And then he came along and made me feel as if the sun rose every morning to greet me a hello
I repaid him in forehead kisses and the sound of thunder
And all of the love i could give
It was a wednesday morning when the cold reality of rain woke me up and greeted me with a goodbye
I knew he had left for good
The love i gave wasn’t big or strong enough to fight back the tidal waves that were coming to get us
Maybe I love too much but show too little
Maybe after all he wasn’t the problem
But i was
Were my displays of affection
The criminal in this offence?
After all it’s much easier to humiliate, degrade and bring someone down
than it is to admit that you love them.