I spoke about him as if he put the moon and stars in the sky

Even when he was the meteorite crashing down to earth

Destroying everything in his path

But he was so beautiful


A part of me found his recklessness fascinating

I had looked at him in a million different ways

And adored him in each


He stroked my cheek and whispered that we were the exact same person

I smiled because in that moment i had conveniently forgotten how much he fucking hated himself


After 5 years we grew apart not together

All i wanted was to receive the love i gave

All he wanted was to leave

I begged him as if i was wishing upon a shooting star


You see the thing is,

Our love is like the wind,

I can’t see it but i can feel it

I can feel it at 4am when i am at my weakest And he makes me feel strong


His job is not to fix me

But to hold my hand while i fix myself

His job is to supply the plaster

As i suck out the venom from the wound


I now think he is the venom

I didn’t fall apart for him to fall into someone else

I’ve ruined myself for a lot of people and i used to think that was ok

Because i wanted to be loved


I wanted to know how it felt to be wanted and appreciated

And then he came along and made me feel as if the sun rose every morning to greet me a hello

I repaid him in forehead kisses and the sound of thunder

And all of the love i could give


It was a wednesday morning when the cold reality of rain woke me up and greeted me with a goodbye

I knew he had left for good

The love i gave wasn’t big or strong enough to fight back the tidal waves that were coming to get us


Maybe I love too much but show too little

Maybe after all he wasn’t the problem

But i was

Were my displays of affection

The criminal in this offence?

After all it’s much easier to humiliate, degrade and bring someone down

than it is to admit that you love them.